Meeting women, for friends or for more... What exactly do you do when you are overly shy and wish to make new friends or a nice new fling? I thought I might try my hand at this and all I end up doing is sitting there watching waiting for someone to talk to me. It's ridiculous really, I've sorta made the attempt to get out there but all I can do when I talk to someone is look away blush or stare at the ground. It's not a matter of deception it's a matter of not being able to get the right words out or be able to talk to them while looking them in the eye. It's so frusterating I swear... Any advice on working up my courage ladies? I'd gladly accept anything I can get.

I suggest Alcohol. Sorry

Given the amount of problems with alcoholism in the GLBT community, not a great answer. And, being shy myself, alcohol does not help. It just makes you think that you're being witty and funny when really everyone else wants to slap you for being drunk. Which so doesn't help one get dates, you know?

Are you kidding me?? That's a really stupid answer, Law. Really short-sighted.

Oblivion is only temporary; this is better... I googled "Ann Arbor Lesbians" and this was one of the first links that came up; it's an Ann Arbor rainbow of activities and stuff that might interest you including book clubs, women's groups and such:

just encounters

I can relate, when I was newly single it was hard for me to make contact. Not so much because I am shy, but simply because I was so out of practice. I took a few classes of something I was interested in, cooking, etc. Many were offered two nights a week over x or x weeks. It allowed me to brush up on my social skills with folks who I at least hod one common interest with and we already had a topic we could talk about to start things off. Good luck, it just takes some practice. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose. :-)

shyness help i have some suggestions for overcoming shyness in general. if you can't think of anything to say, especially in a group conversation, simply focus on having a pleasant expression on your face. i don't mean a beaming smile, but at least an engaged look, with intermittent eyebrow raising and small smiles at appropriate intervals. sounds obvious, but i've observed lots of known shy people with, ahem, what my best friend and i have dubbed "bitch face." it's not that they're actually bitchy people, it's just that they're so shy that the feeling creates a very uninviting expression on their faces, which doesn't help conversation. btw, as a once very shy person, i'm sure i wore this expression constantly during high school. another idea for conversation is to listen intently to the conversation and instead of offering witty comments, simply ask questions that encourage people to keep talking. ask open questions, not ones that can be answered with a yes or no. "what was your first year at Blank University like?" instead of "did you like going to school at Blank?" and something that helps shyness is having successful social encounters. like BR suggested, get involved in an activity where you already have something in common with those around you. that makes conversation easier. then, as you get better at interacting with those strangers, take that confidence and apply it to the rest of your social life. cashiers are also good for practicing small talk on. like any other skill, it takes practice if you weren't born with it naturally. and if you're going to be going to a big social event, like a show at a coffee house or something, go there before the big night. figure out where the drink line starts and where the bathrooms are. new places have always made me nervous, and getting to know them can take the edge off. background: when i was in high school, i was so shy that i couldn't stand being around anyone i didn't know because it made me so mute and uncomfortable. college, fortunately, brought me into contact with a lot more like-minded people, which made talking to people i didn't know instantly easier. then i become a newspaper reporter, and it became my job to ask (sometimes intrusive) questions of total strangers. and shyness went out out the window.

p.s. please don't take the name of that face "phenomenon" the wrong way. it's meant as a humorous, irreverent description of a face that used to be mine. because of it, i was often ed a snob, when really i was just an extremely shy, socially uncomfortable person dying to figure out how to talk to people.

Try meeting people at places other than bars (and I have to disagree with the "Alcohol" advice.) Do you have friends who have friends? Activities or hobbies that draw you? Art, volunteering, a favorite bookstore or coffeshop...? Maybe a party, a game night, a music show... start a band! You know, nearly everyone is shy. Some are just better at hiding it than others. Everyone feels as if they're stepping off a cliff when they venture into meeting someone. You are far, far from alone. Hang in there, darlin'.

Here we go again with the generalities Saying "everyone is shy" is just as ridiculous as ANY generality. Shyness is not uncommon, however it is not a general trait suffered by everyone. Some people get their energy from being more outwardly social, others are more introverted and get more energy from being introspective. And there's every other possibility along that spectrum.

You are misquoting the Newt. She said "nearly" everyone is shy. And the jist of her message was not to infer that everyone is shy, it was to tell the OP that it is a common feeling and to give the OP some good vibes. Good day to you Mate.

Introversion doesn't equal shyness It's quite possible for an extrovert to be shy (i.e., socially anxious), and an introvert not to be.

I understand shy! I have the same problem, and I am also new to SC, so I feel like I have a double whammy going for me! Hope there is some good advice out there!